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This is the time of year I find myself humming a song from that fabulous English musical Me and My Girl:

The sun has got his hat on, hip-hip-hooray

The sun has got his hat on, he's coming out today.

Upbeat, cheer, sunny, you say. Yes, indeed. But my point is not only that it's sunny in the summer but that musicals, plays, videos can affect your mood. They can reflect how you are feeling, or they can change how you are feeling.

How about making your own lists of DVDs to borrow from the Library, rent, or even buy, based on categories? That way you will be ready to get what you need when you need it.

Keep it as a running list, and add new ones, suggestions from reviews or friends, and insert some comments. 

Make up your own categories, so that when you need a Mood Lifter, for example, you will see a named video right there. What about something with Beautiful Scenery, or something in a specific Foreign Language? How about a Historical time period, a Costume Drama, something with a dose of Fashion? Something that provides Perspective or a Memorable Hero? Or a story that focuses on older people or Aging?

Be prepared for when you're needing some help being sunny or serious.

LEXICOLOGY

The words we use to describe something often reflect our mood. What about turning that around and choosing our woods to create our outlook?

The well-noted question of the glass is half empty vs. the glass is half full led me to start looking around for words we use related to getting older or being older.

Some talk about older is wiser while others ask: "Are we getting better or just older?"

At 60 when every look in the mirror showed me a new wrinkle, I instructed myself to retort: "Aren't you glad you can still see them?" (Now that I can't so well, my plan is to stop looking.)

Famous people have left their words. "As I get older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do" comes from Andrew Carnegie.

Plato has been quoted as saying: "The spiritual eyesight improves as the physical eyesight declines."

Edith Wharton wrote: "In spite of illness, in spite of the archenemy sorrow, one can remain alive long past the usual date of disintegration if one is unafraid of change, insatiable in intellectual curiosity, interested in big things, and happy in a small way."

And it must have been one of our grandmothers who first said: "At twenty we worry about what others think of us. At forty we don't care what others think of us. At sixty we discover they haven't been thinking about us at all."

My favorite words to describe aging seem to be Yiddish. Cockamamie, shmendrick, meshugenah--no matter what they actually mean, never fail to make me smile.

So if you're no longer a boychik or a girlchik, hopefully you've grown up not to be a shmendrick or a shnoock and feel free to kibitz and kvell over your meshugenah friends and nudnik mishpecha.

Try not to wear your shmatas out to dinner and keep that shlock for sitting at home. Get a cup of tea and schmooze on the phone about your own shtick and all the tsurris that is no doubt on its way.

If you need some translation help, try http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_English_words_of_Yiddish_origin

Talk is Cheap

No, this is not about budget phone plans. It's about reading in the newspaper again today about all the physical activities seniors can and should do. I'm tired of it. Finding a list of these is the easy part. Accepting that this is good advice is annoying but not all that hard. What's tough is actually doing something.

The question for me has always been what can make me exercise on a regular basis?

I've come up with two effective motivators:  fear and routine.

Fear of getting stiff and stiffer, achy and achier; losing my balance and coordination; putting on weight in all the wrong places; being injured more easily and recovering more slowly; diminishing in strength and endurance. 

Not such a pleasant list, eh? But reviewing it - - especially when I get up in the morning - - does provide motivation for me.

What takes me from fear to actually exercising is routine. I have established a routine for myself, and I hardly ever let myself break it. I go to my exercise class 3-4 days a week and hardly ever accept another appointment that conflicts with it.

"Go" is the operative word for me. If I rely on staying home and exercising, somehow I never get around to it. Of course that's not true for everyone. I have a friend who makes herself get on her home stationary bicycle 4 times a week before she gives herself the privilege of breakfast.

I love my exercise classes - - for about 15  minutes. If I were at home, that would be the end of it. But being in a group in an organized class, I am too proud to give up. So I complete the hour and then give myself a lot of pats on the back and usually a cup of good coffee, no sugar.

Of course there are fun aspects to exercise and adding things you naturally enjoy helps. Walking on a glorious spring day is an easy choice for some or a tennis round robin or tap dancing as the lady (88 years old!) in the newspaper was doing. If that works for you and gets you exercising on a regular basis, terrific. If not, consider fear and routine.

What the Queen Mam said

Since England's last and greatest Queen Mother*  lived to the age of 101, we might listen carefully to anything she said. Amongst her pearls (verbal ones, that is) was the suggestion to dance. In one of those many interviews when reporters asked her how she had stayed so spry, she answered that you have to take exercising a little at a time and do what you think is fun.

An English campaign that may have taken off from these comments is trying to persuade over-50s to spend half an hour a day exercising. While earlier admonitions had told people to exercise vigorously three times a week, current "experts" believe that a gentler regime will be better. It certainly might have more appeal and be more lasting.

A vigorous exercise program should be approved by your doctor, but gentle stretches can be done by almost everyone. Combatting stiffness applies to people of all ages and walks of life.

Small stretching at home or the office can be quite practical. If you make yourself get into a routine of frequent stretching, you will really feel a difference in your mobility.

Try keeping a tennis ball close to your telephone and/or the TV. While you're talking or watching, squeeze the tennis ball as hard as you can three times; then put it down. Keep repeating. This is good for the wrists, the most common point of fracture in older people. 

While you're sitting at the computer or almost anywhere, you can take little breaks to stretch your neck, gently turning from side to side alternately with looking down. 

Tightening the stomach muscles is something you can do, and no one else will even notice.

If you don't have a palace or a dance floor handy, you can check out a dance video from the library and swing along anytime you like. Dedicate a few of your moves to the Queen Mam.

Use your wisdom

It's often overlooked in contemporary society that older people have a lot to offer. We olders may fall prey to the same hazard. How about spending some time identifying your wisdom? And then you might find a particular way to use it.

I was in a gardening store today--the month of March does that to you. There, in one cozy corner, was a booth type space with a large high label--PLANT ADVICE. And there was a man, definitely past 70, giving out answers to plant and planting questions. (By the way, it didn't even cost 5 cents.) When I asked my question, I found his answer gentle, thorough, and very helpful. To the store's advantage, it even led me to purchase the plant that I had been hesitant about. To his advantage, he may have been getting to use the wisdom he had acquired over many years of gardening. To my advantage, I may have some dill for cooking this year, and I definitely felt a renewed optimism about humankind.

What is your wisdom, and what could you do with it?

Roaring

Every morning seems to bring a new wrinkle. And often a new ache. We could list them -- and maybe should. It makes you wonder how best to wake up in the morning. With fear? with gratitude? with foreboding? with purpose? with stretching?

I was thinking about this recently and remembered one of the exercises my stretch teacher has us do. She calls it the "lion's roar," and it is an adaptation of a yoga breathing pose. Basically, you inhale and then let the breath out with as much noise as possible. You virtually roar, like a ...you know what. Try it.

This lion's roar lets you exhale concern, worry, tiredness. Sometimes it helps you feel like a lion, waking yourself up and releasing the old so as to be ready and open for the new.

There are some videos on the web that show you how to roar, in case you're not actually conversant with roaring. They also mention that the roar of the lion in nature wakes up the other smaller animals. That might be a plus for you too. They mention too that the yoga pose of the lion gives the muscles of the jaw, throat, eyes, and face a stretch that can ease problems such as teeth grinding and clenched jaws (things we often experience unknowingly through the night).

Roaring and stretching that part of the body might prevent a little wrinkle or two. No claims, but who knows? It couldn't hurt.

Coping with Confusion

I started talking with my father about aging when he was in his '80s. I'm glad I wrote things down and not only for the memories. Since he was a very practical person, his advice is concrete and useful. He said the following when he was in his '90s, but it seems to apply even though I am decades from that. 

I had asked him what he does to cope with confusion. (How old do you think you have to be to feel confused at times? It seems to me it starts when you are two!)

Max's answer:

I avoid change. I don't put things in new places but instead everything has to go back in the same place as always.

I repeat things out loud or in my head -- like 'next, turn off the stove.'

I make a lot of lists.

I write everything down -- what I need for food, when to be someplace, who to call.

I make word associations in my mind. For example: To remember someone who is named Leo, I say 'Leo the Lion' to myself ten times in my head. Somehow it sticks better that way.

I should have learned how to use a calculator. That way when your math declines, it's ok. But I didn't.

Expansiveness

It's only natural to note -and even lament- the things we have more trouble doing as we age, but focusing too much on scarcity often just reinforces it. 

What are the avenues we could expand (I'm not talking waistlines or paunches here) to balance the inevitable contractions?

Peter Abbott writes about being blind and developing his sense of smell. In his book,  A Guide to Scented Geraniaceae, Abbott writes that despite his blindness, by the age of seven he had learned to identify 100 different scented pelargoniums (geraniums are pelargoniums) just by their smell and texture. 

I am going to resolve right now to try to expand my abilities, a la Abbott's role model. I should be ready for spring.

Humour

Getting older is no laughing matter. But sometimes that's the best we can do. 

Max, who lived to be 94, made a joke out of most everything, including himself. 

Thomas Sydenham, the 17th century physician who has been called the father of English medicine, made this claim:  "The arrival of a good clown into a village does more for its health than 20 asses laden with drugs." 

Now what do you think of that?

Comforts

February can be a hard month. There's nothing on the trees, no flowers to look at, and the sky is often overcast. The dryness of the cold air outside and the heated air indoors seem to make our wrinkles blossom. The weather makes it difficult, and sometimes dangerous, to go for a walk or even be outdoors. We definitely need some comfort. 

Think about what gives you comfort, and make sure to put those things on your schedule. In the olde days, women used to buy themselves a new hat, men might smoke a cigar. But neither of those seems so appealing any longer. How about sherry?

If you haven't explored the world of sherries, think about it. A small glass of sherry is nice before dinner, during dinner, after dinner, or even at 3:00 am when you can't sleep. There are sweet sherries and dry sherries and some in-between. My current favorite is manzanilla

Sherry is aged in a consistent way (nice analogy, eh?) so you don't have to look for any particular vintage year (nice analogy, eh?). Find your own favorite glass --or perhaps go on an excursion to buy just the right one - and sip. Not too much, but a small dose--what a comfort.

The hinges on the driver's side of my eight year old Saab started squeaking today. My instantaneous response was ---glucosamine. Shows where my head is, I guess.

I'm starting to see the resemblance between everything and the body, so now it's cars and bodies: parts get dried up. We need to oil our hinges, lubricate-so to speak-our joints. No matter the age, glucosamine once a day and eye cream (for men as well as women) once or twice a day seems more and more important. Of course, check with your doctor before taking any supplements, but staving off achy joints and lines around the eyes applies at any age.

I'm not sure what I'll give my Saab hinge, but it certainly won't be a daily dose.

Intentional Aging

My father Max was incredibly vibrant up until his 94th year. Some of it was luck, some of it genes, but I think he also worked hard at it. I think of it as intentional aging--facing up to the process and doing the best you can at it. I talked with him about it and together we recognized some patterns. One was decreasing skills and coping patterns to respond to these. I plan to put in a lot about these on this blog. Some will be quotes from Max, who you must remember was in his '90s at the time of these conversations and who you will quickly note has a wry, "old-fashioned" type of demeanor. Each idea or strategy will be short and sometimes sweet, sometimes not. I hope that readers will respond by saying what works for them and what they will try.

The first thing that most people seem to face, or complain about, is memory. Even my 30 year old daughter says her memory is "not what it used to be."  Older people routinely state that it is their short term memory that goes away and that they can remember names of childhood friends but not where they put their sox five minutes ago. Here's what Max suggests: "I set up little mind games for myself. When people introduce themselves to me, I right away repeat their name out loud and then say it a few times in my head. At home I make lists in my head, then walk into another room and test myself if I can remember the list. I never liked crossword puzzles but that would be a good thing for people who enjoy that."

More on memory throughout this blog.

Introduction to my blog

From the moment of our birth, we are all getting older every minute. That is one thing we all have in common, and one thing that most of us over 30 lament. Of course there are all those articles and books telling you to love getting older and highlighting the advantages of getting older. This blog is not going to do that!

Instead I want to share ideas--and hear yours--on adaptations to the challenges of getting older. What helps us? What practical things is it good to know and try? What spiritual or community-based things should we look at? How does it feel at different stages? What can we expect? How can we prepare? How can we be more intentional about something that is going to happen no matter what we do? How can we make it easier, more meaningful? How can we cope physically, financially, emotionally? How can we be of aid to those around us facing similar situations?

Who might be interested in this blog? Hopefully, anyone recognizing their own aging needs. Anyone looking in the mirror and facing those first wrinkles around the eyes, anyone feeling tighter and stiffer after their regular workout or just after getting up in the morning, people dealing with older relatives whom they would like to understand better, maybe even some younger folk who want to hear what it's like on the road ahead.

Welcome to my blog.